Engaged To Be MarriedMy day was like any other day while working at the homeless shelter, tending to administration duties, answering phone calls from people looking for shelter, attending to altercations, and monitoring behaviors. I was having a rather average day. Much too my surprise I saw a former client outside, walking slowly down the sidewalk in front of our facility with his head down low. I could see by his posture he was not having a very good day. Our policy at the shelter was we were able to take walk in clients as long as it was safe to do so. We could then contact their social worker by the next day to confirm eligibility to stay longer. Luckily, that day we had a bed available and I knew this client as being of good character who had fallen into a problem with street drugs. Since there was a bed available an intake was completed for the man I will call Jeff.
I had never seen Jeff in such dismay, he could hardy look me in the eye, he stated he was experiencing the lowest point ever in his life, a very fragile state of mind indeed. I took it upon myself to attend as best I could, as his state of mind was a real concern to me. The procedure was to escort a client to his room, which I did. Sometimes when a situation such as this one is witnessed it is best to let a person just be, but to day was different. Something inside me felt if I should remain in his presence a while longer, I am certainly grateful I did just that. Jeff explained in much greater detail the pain he was experiencing and confessed he did not feel there was a way to feel better, in other words he had been contemplating checking out permanently! Immediately I quickly provided some intervention by asking him about his family and asked him to think about those he would leave behind. I explained I could get him immediate medical attention by the following day and to please trust me, he agreed and we parted. I did not see him for the rest of my shift as our team experienced a chaotic, although quite normal period at work.
Well the next day arrived, I returned to my employment to understand Jeff was no longer there, he not had returned from a walk the night before. I can not begin to describe how I was feeling and the questions that ran through my mind. I was trained to deal with the now of work and just carry on, so I had to move on through another day. Another three or four months went by and I decided to move to another area of BC. As time passed I sometimes pondered if Jeff made his final decision or just maybe he was out there somewhere, I also reminisced about the shelter experiences I left behind. Months passed and Jeff was long forgotten. Here I was in a place I had never been, cold as hell and not really enjoying my time, with one exception. I had chosen that northern exposure to be closer to my son who had just passed into his teenage life. We connected well, had plenty of fun and just hung out as father and son. I will always cherish that time together. In a northern climate you either embrace the outdoors or the outdoors embraces you, harshly. I decided needed a break so I ventured down to the streets of Vancouver's suburbs. The visit was warming on many levels, visiting with friends, enjoying the southern climate, the Pacific Ocean and yes even the rain was so refreshing. I was home even if it was just for a visit, I was home.
I decided to visit my old colleagues at the shelter and what a wonderful reunion it was. Many things had changed although my main friends I formally worked along side with were still there. We shared many memories and caught up with new shelter program developments, much had changed. Much to my surprise, one of my colleagues brought up Jeff, commenting that he had been at the shelter up until a few days ago and had wanted to talk to me. I was a bit saddened that I had missed him although those feelings were quickly replaced with that of jubilation, that he chose to live. My colleagues were intrigued by my reaction and I confessed about how I had held the memory of Jeff very close to me.
I can not explain clearly enough the feeling that emanated from my being by what happened soon after our continued visit at the shelter. Something caught my attention outside, a man with his head held high , it was Jeff now rounded the corner and heading up the drive way to the shelter. I could not believe my eyes. He was all smiles as was I, meeting at the front door. Jeff started off with a thank you, a thank you that rocked me to my core. A thank you that validated the 7 years I had dedicated to helping those who fall from grace. A thank you that was so sincere from a man who had found a way back to himself, a good man a changed man. He explained how his life had worsened after are talk long ago in his tiny room in the shelter, although he had decided to live that night no matter what stood in his way. I was stunned because not only did he live but here was a man standing before me with only one leg. You see his journey of despair had continued until his health failed him badly, which landed him in the hospital.
Faith in himself delivered a healing of sorts. He received the treatment he needed physically, spiritually and mentally while in hospital to stand tall before me, healthy and happy. The journey he accepted, the hope he found and a vision for a healthy future was uttered in the following words, "I am engaged to be married".
Terence Hill
"A toast to the Groom".
